Music: Stolen Jars

Such a beautiful poem in the lyrics of this Stolen Jar’s song that popped up on my “discover weekly” mix on Spotify:

In miles I’m home
where things I’d prized, stacked pegs and wire that I’d called mine
who knew I was so blue at age 5, standing tall among the vines of a small tinted window.

I remember
the nose of
a donkey I knew when
I was a girl wanting
to warm the noses of donkeys

I remember the
wools and the wetnesses, and his long jowl under my arm

I remember the
cross across his back, black, and thinking oh that’s where that
comes from

I loved him for coldness of nose, willingness to be warmed
I loved him for the purpose he gave me, willingness to be loved

if I am warm, let me warm you. if I am willing, let me do.

Melbourne is just like that

I’m one whole month and ten days into my grand Melbourne adventure. After a 28 hour journey, I got off the plane, exhausted, with two suitcases and a whole lot of uncertainty in tow. It’s only taken a few weeks to shed the apprehension and gain so much goodness.

Have you ever found yourself in a place or set of circumstances that just allowed you to be yourself? I think that is the thing that I feel here. I am just so unapologetically me here. And it feels damn good.

A new friend came over for a little housewarming this weekend and she brought me a Himalayan Salt Lamp. You know, one of those hippie “energy purifying” pink crystal looking things. Yeah, go ahead roll your eyes. Because I love it. I absolutely love it. I had it on my list of things to buy for myself and having met me one time, my new friend knew. She knew this was the thing for my housewarming.

Melbourne is just like that. It just works. It’s easy. And I’m loving it.

I feel carried by the stream of life in a beautiful and effortless way here, a way that I have not felt in a long, long time. I ask for things and they appear.

Last weekend, I needed to pick up a bunch of things I’d found second hand on Gumtree (a site like craigslist). I’d arranged to rent a car, but when I went to pick it up, they wouldn’t let me because I didn’t have my passport with me. I didn’t want to go home and get the passport and come back again, so I decided I’d figure something else out, though I had no idea what.

I got an Uber to my first pick up and then uber’ed my new chair back to my house, but decided that wasn’t sustainable for the other four pick ups. So when I got home, I called a “chick with a van” who I had seen advertised on Gumtree earlier. She was miraculously available immediately and came over to pick me up.

We drove all over Melbourne for three hours, picking up chairs and plants, and talking talking talking. Turns out, she is a pretty rad lady: a world traveler, yogi, and teacher. She’d just returned back to Melbourne to study counselling. She wants to help kids gain emotional intelligence. It was so moving hearing her talk about her work, it made me tear up a little. I was like, “I feel like I am hearing you affirm your life purpose!” Of course, we ended up fast friends and she invited me to her beautiful communal house for a potluck.

Melbourne is just like that. It just feels right.

As I shed the shell of my previous self, I see how gray I had become. I’m not sure what it was about London, but I felt so uncomfortable there, so contained, so squashed.

I am learning a lot about myself here, and what I need to feel nourished and comfortable. I think one thing that feels like a repeating theme here is space. I need my own home space where I feel comfortable to be me and do whatever I want to do, and I also need space out in the world. I need a space to stand on the train where a stranger isn’t touching me for our 20 minute commute. I need space at the bar to have a drink with friends and not wait in a queue for an hour beforehand. I need a world space with fresh air and sunshine.

It feels so good that Melbourne has space is so many ways.

Music: Empress Of

I’ve been enjoying Empress Of’s melodic voice on my commute. Love her lyrics in this one especially, “Everything is you – you are everything.” It’s a nice reminder we are all one, especially important when you are riding the tram in someone’s armpit and not necessarily feeling the most connected.