Homesickness

It’s a cool, windy, overcast day in Melbourne. It’s been a few weeks since the winter solstice, so it’s the equivalent of a mid-January day, but it feels like a Hudson Valley autumn. It was in the mid-50’s this morning, so I had the doors open and a gentle breeze swept through the house, ringing the hallway wind chime as it went.

I closed the door by mid-day though, because the wind was bringing rain, and the soft pattering was already starting. I’m curled up on the couch now, under a blanket with a hot water bottle and a cup of tea.

Days like these make me miss the valley. I miss the beautiful autumnal colours and the wood stove fires. The little cold-weather traditions like picking apples and Thanksgiving, preparing for holidays and getting excited about going skiing. There’s none of that here – no winter holidays, no snow, and no big harvest.

It’s funny how missing something can make you feel all your sadness and discomfort is down to this one thing that isn’t available. If only I were there. But the truth is, missing something is just a convenient scapegoat. Emotional discomfort and missing something are actually entirely separate. I have certainly felt very happy and missed something at the same time. One does not go hand in hand with the other.

I’m trying to remember that this week. My happiness is up to me. It doesn’t depend on me being a certain place or with certain people. Though that does often help, it doesn’t provide everlasting emotional comfort or stability. I’m the only one that can provide that for myself.

For further reading: My sister in law posted up this cool article on Facebook this week – a checklist of sorts of skills that create happier people.

2 thoughts on “Homesickness

  1. Maybe it’s not homesickness. Maybe it’s just memories. Like certain things conjur memories of times past, like music does. Just memories. You may be sad that you don’t think you’ll ever be in that place again…..But did you ever in your life think you’d be living in Melbourne?!! Smile and be happy you have so many fantastic and diverse memories. Take this from a person who’s moved 43 or 45 times (I lost count the last couple of times and lost my list in one of those moves!). You are rich indeed in experiences, Susannah; and wise way beyond your physical age. Enjoy your things and enjoy your memories!

    • Thanks Michelle! I am learning so much about how to be happy right now. I feel more than ever that I have everything I need and I am so full of gratitude every day. 🙂

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